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Ensuring Your Message Sent AND is Received


About three years ago, my oldest son, Simon decided he wanted to play catch with me. Needless to say, I was ecstatic and attempted to enjoy our first catch. After about 10-15 throws back and forth, watching him use his left hand to throw, my mind jumped ahead to the possibility of having a left-handed pitcher in the family. As he threw with his left hand, he also stepped with his left foot. I could only bite my tongue so long. I proceeded to provide high quality coaching and feedback to him. As I returned the ball to him for another throw, my high quality feedback to him was as follows, “Simon, use the other foot.” As attentive as a three year-old can be, he took the ball in his left hand, looked at it and decided to drop the ball and kick it to me with his right foot. He did exactly as his coach had said he used his other foot.


Coaching and pushing people forward to achieve at their highest level is all about sending and receiving messages. Whether you are a coach, a parent, or a player, you are sending a message, and it is important to ensure the message you are intending to send is the one that is received.


As a coach, involve the player in allowing them to provide feedback on the message they receive. Do not be afraid to ask the player, “What did you hear me say?” or “What does that look like to you?”


As a player, do not be afraid to ask a coach, “Is this what you are asking me to do?” or “Is this the adjustment you want me to make.”


As a parent, ask your son or daughter the messages they received during practice or a game. This can easily be incorporated into the Daily Register that was discussed in last week’s message. (Click here to read last week’s post on the Daily Register.)


The more I work with teams and individuals, the more I am convinced that success is based on the connection of the individuals in a network of energy. This energy is contagious and will spread creating a larger network of energy. The connection begins with messages being exchanged in support of the development of the athlete.


Players, coaches, and parents I would love to hear your feedback on methods you have used to ensure your message is being heard and interpreted in the way you envisioned.


Click below to complete a one-question survey and I will share the responses with our Community of Competitors. Remember our goal is to help everyone in this community become the best they can become.


How do you ensure the message you intended to send is interpreted properly?

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1 Simple Tool to Jumpstart Your Day

The conclusion of June marked the end of the second quarter of 2015 and the halfway point of the year. At this point, we should take an inventory of the first half of the year and evaluate what adjustments we need to make.

Based on the feedback from previous weekly messages, many of you have chosen a word for the year. My word for the year is GROWTH. For me this word was chosen to represent the challenge to take risks and push to grow. As I reflected, there were times during the year that my focus on growth had led to trying to do too many things. I forget where I heard it, but a saying that creeps into my mind describes what can happen in our society is that we wear “busyness as a badge of honor.” Busyness is not a badge of honor and she should be able to slow down and live our life, enjoying it to the fullest extent.

Since July 5th, I have been using something called a “Daily Register.” It is a combination of a Mission and Goal-focused, Attitude of Gratitude, and Success Journal al wrapped up in one


Click here to download and use the FREE template of the “Daily Register.”


Each morning, take the time to create 3 goals for the day. This may be a to-do list for you, or simply a mindset that you would like to maintain. (One day last week, my goal was as follows: Say Yes whenever the boys ask me to do something with them.)

The next portion of the daily register is to write down the daily quote that is posted on Twitter. These quotes are delivered at 6 AM everyday and they are a service to you to help focus your mind for the day. (One recipient of the newsletter told me these quotes are his alarm.) Click here to see today’s quote on Twitter.

The next portion of the Daily Register is the 3 X 5 strategy from Jon Gordon and it is labeled the Attitude of Gratitude portion of the Daily Register. By the end of the day, you should be able to come up with 3 things you are grateful for by 5 PM. (I must admit, I cheat on this strategy; I usually complete this just before I head to bed, which is usually after 5 PM.)

Lastly, complete the portion that includes the one success or one lesson learned. The lesson or success that is reported can be as big or small as you want it to be.

Imagine if you completed this Daily Register for the last two weeks of July, what a powerful momentum builder that would be the reminder of 2015. Now is the time to get started.


Click here to download and use the FREE template of the “Daily Register.”

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Our Minds are NOT Machines

This past week, I was fortunate to have the opportunity to be part of an awesome team. It was a team of volunteers and workers that were tasked with getting the Golf course at Lancaster Country Club prepared each day for the United States Women’s Open. Preparing the course each day is a major undertaking, which consists of basically mowing every single blade of grass in the playing area on an over 6,400 yard golf course. Our team included over 100 volunteers and workers and countless pieces of equipment, including over 10 fairway mowers, and numerous mowers designated to mow the greens, tees, and the treacherous rough. The entire process is nothing short of amazing.


Fortunately, I was assigned to work with a team of individuals that would mow greens. The greens mowers were set to cut the grass on the greens to 1/10 of an inch; these are finely tuned machines, calibrated each day and night. If we got to a green and the mower was not cutting properly, it was returned to the maintenance building and a new mower was brought out to use. On Friday morning, on the greens mowing crew I was with, we changed our greens mower three times because it was not cutting the grass properly.


These machines were not performing to the proper expectations and were discarded at that time for a new machine. This sounds a lot like our mindset at times. When we face adversity, we want to discard our current approach and look for a new one. We however, are not machines and cannot just go out and find something that is supposed to function better. We are humans and we must develop our mental toughness to endure any situation and perform to the best of our abilities. Performing our best includes developing the confidence we have in ourselves, with an optimistic mindset with positive energy to mindfully live in the present moment.


This week, stick to your process, not discarding it. Focus on your process of development, not discarding it for a new machine quickly when adversity hits.


Enjoy the week and grow every day.


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Your Actions = Your Signature

As we wrap up the Independence Day weekend and embark on a new week, I wanted to let you in on a little tidbit of information I learned this past weekend.  On July 4th, I decided to read the Declaration of Independence with my family.  (It was longer than I expected, and with the ages of my children, after about 1 minute I was the only one listening.)  As I neared the end of the Declaration of Independence, I noticed the names of the individuals that signed this document were listed.  There are a total of 56 signatures on the Declaration of Independence.  Not surprisingly, the list of individuals that signed the Declaration of Independence is a Who’s Who’s of names engrained in our country’s lineage:

Benjamin Franklin
Thomas Jefferson
John Adams

The one name that is glaringly omitted from the signatures…George Washington.  

This struck me, here is George Washington, noted as a great leader, the man responsible for winning a number of battles in the Revolutionary War, the first President of the United States of America and his signature is not on the document that established this country’s independence.

This is yet another reminder that we do not have to be the first to be recognized as an integral part of a revolution.  George Washington is known for being a great leader as the first President of the United States, however there were many things that led to this first and it was based on his body of work, and established ability to lead, not a signature he placed on a document.  George Washington’s actions were his signature, and while his actions were not perfect, they were carried out with conviction, belief.

This week, focus on your actions, and forget the notion of perfection, and focus on conviction, for your actions are your signature.

Click on this link to check out Doug Conant’s Blog Post on 3 Leadership Lessons Learned from George Washington